Somehow I manage to function.

Somehow, I am managing to get up at 6:30 in the
morning with wobbly legs, spinning head and totally
unsettled stomach. I manage to walk my tired,
underested self over to my son's room and put on the
happy face. And while it is a genuine happy face to
see his precious smiling chubby cheeks smiling back at
me with bear in hand, I won't lie, it's still a
struggle. It's so hard to pick him up when all I want
to do is collapse. I have the weekends for daddy to
take over while I hover under the covers in bed, but
during the week, it's all me.

I can't understand Logan's urgency for his banana,
waffles, cereal or whatever he's starving for, when
the thought of it, much less the smell and touch of it
will have me dry heaving. It's so much harder to get excited
when preparing his food when it could quite possibly be
the worst smell ever.

Ugh! Dry heaving. I have not vomited. Well, maybe it
is because my most nauseaus moments are in the morning
when I am full of nothing but thyroid medicine and a
few sips of water. So I dry heave and salivate into
the toilet and shake.

I didn't dry heave with Logan at all. I had queasiness
and overall yukiness with Logan, but not like this.
This is so much worse. It's almost debilitating in the
mornings and later at night.

There is a brief period during the day when I must get
things done, must work, must do laundry, vaccuum,
clean, run errands etc. that it slightly takes a backseat, but
it's still there. It hasn't even been two weeks of
this and I am begging for the trimester to be over.

It's amazing how your brain can be so excited and your body can
feel none of it. I had such a wonderful pregnancy with Logan and
I just can't wait till I get to that energetic wonderful, life is growing
inside of me feeling.

I've also found out that two friends of mine are pregnant as well.
We are each a few weeks apart. Very exciting.

Logan started nodding his head about two weeks ago and now has just
started shaking his head no. It is adorable. When I say "no". He shakes his
head and gives me the same serious look I am giving him (only I am not nearly
as cute.)

I feel very bloated and fat already. I dont' think I've gained weight, but
I sure do look it and feel it. Water maybe?

Anyway, despite my annoying complaints, I am so happy.

Just one more week till the first ultrasound. Then my mind can see
whether it's all real or not. The double lines, the nausea, the weird taste in my mouth, the bloat,the dizziness, the obsession with avacados and the endless trips to the bathroom. . .