Redemption?
I suppose I should feel better that my mother did end up calling that afternoon to come over (with a bit of hesitation). And I should feel even better than that that she even called again the next day to come over again.
Was my breakdown so intense that she could feel the anger vibes 10 miles away?
Again she had a fabulous time (after first telling me how exhausted she was and hadn't even eaten yet by 4:30 that day) and another fabulous time the next day.
My dad came with her yesterday and told me that she started to cry amidst playing with Logan that she wished she had more energy and was more up to playing with him more often.
Apparently I am still not aware of her state of health.
As my dad says, when she feels great for one day, it's "always". When she feels crumby for a day, it's "always".
I can't take it literally.
My dissappointment isn't really so much about her as it is my own expectations. It doesn't help that my mother is an extremist when it comes to just about anything. But, it is what it is. She's not very healthy right now and she's doing what she can to get there and in the meantime I wish her plenty of joyous times with her grandson and I will not expect too much of her unless absotultely needed. And I don't mean that in a harsh way, though it sounds it. I truly mean that I have to come to terms with her not being "that kind" of grandmother. She is who she is and I love her for it.
So this weekend is her and her twin sister's birthday. A huge sh*tload of family is coming to visit and it will be a weekend of parties, barbecues, babysitters and good dinners. Now if this nausea would just let up.
Was my breakdown so intense that she could feel the anger vibes 10 miles away?
Again she had a fabulous time (after first telling me how exhausted she was and hadn't even eaten yet by 4:30 that day) and another fabulous time the next day.
My dad came with her yesterday and told me that she started to cry amidst playing with Logan that she wished she had more energy and was more up to playing with him more often.
Apparently I am still not aware of her state of health.
As my dad says, when she feels great for one day, it's "always". When she feels crumby for a day, it's "always".
I can't take it literally.
My dissappointment isn't really so much about her as it is my own expectations. It doesn't help that my mother is an extremist when it comes to just about anything. But, it is what it is. She's not very healthy right now and she's doing what she can to get there and in the meantime I wish her plenty of joyous times with her grandson and I will not expect too much of her unless absotultely needed. And I don't mean that in a harsh way, though it sounds it. I truly mean that I have to come to terms with her not being "that kind" of grandmother. She is who she is and I love her for it.
So this weekend is her and her twin sister's birthday. A huge sh*tload of family is coming to visit and it will be a weekend of parties, barbecues, babysitters and good dinners. Now if this nausea would just let up.
posted by Best Known As Logan's Mom | 4:38 PM
1 Comments:
First of all I wanted to say congratulations! I am so happy for you and your family. I haven't been very good at signing lately but I have been reading and keeping up with you. Logan is getting so big and is absolutely beautiful! He's going to make a great big brother! I also wanted to say that I'm sorry that you are feeling so miserable! I can totally relate and I just hope that this GROSS time passes quickly and you start feeling human again soon. I'm also sorry about how your mom is acting. Again, I can relate...my mom is very hit or miss when it comes to certain things and I just never know. Sometimes I literally have to tell her what I need for her to come through. And it isn't because she's a bad person, she just doesn't get it. At any rate, I hope that you are feeling better very soon so you can enjoy this pregnancy (and life) again. Take care and rest as much as you can. I'm thinking about you and so excited to hear updates as this baby continues to grow!
Post a Comment
<< Home