Don't even bother.

That's what I feel like saying to my mother. I don't get it. I just don't get it. My feelings are so hurt and she has no clue.

For someone who absoultely adores me and has done everything in the world for me and loves and adores her grandson so much, it is completely mind boggling to me why my mother doesn't spend more time with her grandson.

The time she does spends are some occassions when she stops by for a bit with my dad before he goes to bed. Or times when we might all go out to eat. There are endless amounts of times my father has come on a last minute calls to watch Logan for me. I can count the times my mom has babysat alone on one hand.

While I try to give her the benefit of the doubt that she may be busy and wrapped up in things. It still doesn't pan out. Not for anyone. Noone can understand it.

If I've asked her to come, my dad always comes in her place.

When I am a grandmother I will relish in the moments that I can kidnap that kid and take off for the day and give my children a break.

For her, a mere hour is a struggle to fit into her, house obsessed, jobless life. I mean that. Her days revolve around constantly decorating and doing things to her already beyond finished masterpeice of a home, getting her hair done, nails done and special dietary food for her allergic digestive system. As loving as she is, this is what she spends her time doing. Her "extremely busy" time.

I will say that I have tremendous empathy for the time she has gone through battling her Celiac Spru. But, when I keep hearing how wonderful she's feeling now - I just don't get it.

I have all these friends with grandmothers that take their babies out and about. They are there at a moment's notice when they are not feeling well or just need a break.

We have a babysitter who comes twice a week for Logan when I go into work. She is really grandma # 3. She takes Logan to all different places. Has playdates with him. Does all sorts of fun things with him and she tells me all about their day and all his accomplishments as if bragging about her own grandson. If my MIL were here. I wouldn't need a babysitter.

My mother has yet to strap him in a carseat.

If she has babysat, it's been on a few occassions when we had noone else and she LOVES it. Which is even more reason that I am so confused.

I asked her, my father asked her, Mr. Sweets asked her - if during this time that I am so exhausted and sick that she could come more often to watch Logan even if just for an hour so I could grab a nap. It will only be until this sick phase is over with. Of course, she says. In fact, we brought this up based on her saying that she doesn't see him enough. Then WHY!!! Why are you not here? Why last night when I asked her to come today and she said she'd call with what time she could fit it in, has she not called. It's the afternoon now.

Here's what I say to it all now. Don't even bother!